i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
