I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
