How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
