Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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