Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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