I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
