found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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