these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
