Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
