Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
