don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
