That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
