so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
