Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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