He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
