we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
