Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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