I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
