Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
