i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
