I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
