theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize