the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
