I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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