First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize