pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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