Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
