she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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