well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
