Ambien. No doubt about it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
