I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we're making bets on your personal life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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