im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
