What a fucking waste of an outfit
another moral hangover. fuck.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
