when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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