i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
