I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
