so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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