I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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