oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
