bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
