i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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