thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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