It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
