return my video game
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She said her name was "party"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
