dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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