Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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