i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
