She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
