That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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