Michael Bay diarrhea
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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