Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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