Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
