If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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