I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
