I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
