Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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