im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize