I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
