you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
